I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize