Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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