this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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