you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
