"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
