life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
