Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
