So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
