so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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