Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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