Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
