How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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