i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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