That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
