i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
