Me too!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
