don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize