I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
