you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
