honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
