This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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