So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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