Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize