I didn't shave. On purpose
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There r osticjed everywhere
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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