you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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