I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im holly from the hills drunk
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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