So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
