Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I want to fling myself into the sun
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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