I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize