it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
