sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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