i can't believe i had my finger in that
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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