It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
