So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
