"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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