So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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