yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
