You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
