Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
