Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize