Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Farmville is her only friend.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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