i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
