if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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