This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
