Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
