Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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