so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
