I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize