he thought i was a dude.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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