i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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