DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize