Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize