New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
