She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
