I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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