just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just found a bag of teeth...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
