you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
