I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
