Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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