12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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