If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
