Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
