wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
